#MyNameIsnt

As most of the world, I've been hooked on the #ShesGottaHaveIt series on Netflix. I could resonate with this episode in particular where Nola Darling addresses #MyNameIsnt. Men trying to “holla” or shoot their shot have gone through many lengthens in my experience. We can do some word play and call these men "boys", but either way, y'all understand where I'm coming from.  I’ve been hit with a whip on the streets while walking on Canal street as a teen... pulled across the room in a club in Chicago... grabbed by the arm... smacked on the ass... followed at a bus station and in stores... stalked via phone by a guy I decided I didn't want to continue communication with... threatened... called a B#tch, hoe, ugly, etc... you name it. But why? All because a man’s ego doesn’t want to “feel played” when a woman says no she’s not interested. Men and women, Raise your sons to be gentlemen, and men preach to yourselves in the mirror about how women deserve so much better. Women aren’t property and what isn’t yours shouldn’t be touched or disrespected. Think of if your own female relatives or girlfriends and wives were in the same position with a man who can’t take no for an answer. Some of you can’t preach to your children because you aren’t setting the example. Tell your daughters, mothers, sisters, friends, cousins, etc that they deserve so much better than being treated like animals, property or bare minimal... 

For the record... my name is Sanica. I answer to very few other names (i.e. Dr Matthews, Sunshine, Jeneé, Miss Matthews), and I'll be damned if I ever answer to half of the things rejected men call me. What's crazy is that growing up in New Orleans where men in my experience are notably more aggressive and disrespectful, it was really hard to stand up for yourself in the way you wanted to. You'd say no or just don't say anything at all but never get too aggressive in return since you didn't want things to escalate out of control. I didn't realize New Orleans men were worse with this until I overheard some girls in college who were from Ohio saying they've never experienced this until they moved here. I realized it also as I've aged and traveled more. It's gotten better here over the years but still nothing to brag about. 

My Brothas, you’re broken. And until you acknowledge and address your areas of brokenness you will continue to be the plague of our communities. We need strong, God-fearing and respectable men to rise up to take back our communities and our families. We need real men to show that being respectful, polite and a gentlemen is still in style. Be the example that the world needs to see. My sistahs, don't settle for less. Anything that compromises your dignity and respect isn't worth entertaining. It's not a good look. #MyNameIsnt bitch, hoe, boo thang, red (and I'm not red), slim, etc. and neither is yours.

Everyone needs watering... what does your garden grow? 

#jewelsofknowledge#elementsofexperience #noladarling#respect #gentlemen