The Art of Being Submissive

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I don't know why but for some reason whenever someone mentions being submissive in a relationship I get a little bit of an attitude or give them the side-eye followed by a nice "Pssssssshhhhh!" flowing from my mouth. Ok, ok, ok... I'm not the only woman of color who doesn't like the term submission. But why is it predominantly an issue amongst women of color and is submission really a bad thing? The Bible speaks of husband and wife being submissive to one another. I assume that when it's equally reciprocated and in the context of marriage then it's not intended to be a bad thing. Any other way just makes it more of a master-servant sort of relationship. So let's get down to the bottom of this... According to Wikipedia, "submission is the acknowledgment of the legitimacy of the power of one's superior or superiors." What?!?!?! See this is where the problem occurs. If you want me to submit then we need to work on the definition. Who is the superior in a relationship? Now if we are talking about being submissive to God then that's one thing, but when you say be submissive to your husband, are you saying that one is to acknowledge that he is the superior? I understand that a husband is designed to be the head of the household thus making him a... superior. That bothers me but I'll keep going. An article I found called "WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT... SUBMISSION IN MARRIAGE?" by Betty Miller defines submission as "yielding to another's desires without resistance." Assuming that you have a husband or wife whom you are equally yoked with and whom is a follower and believer of Christ, they shouldn't request that you "submit" to anything unGodly, worldly or unethical. So the fear that many of us have that our spouse will request that we do things that aren't of our ethical values is one that we should know the answer to already if you know who you married. So why is it more or a problem with women of color? Women often assume that men are pulling this question out of no where but it's true. I've become acquainted with many different races and I have found that we, as in African American women, tend to have more of an issue with submitting to or even catering to our men. I imagine this dates back for years and years and is possibly due to the structure of our households. Our women were taught to not only be beautiful but also bold and to not let anyone take over what was ours. Many of our women were forced to take on the role of our men in households. Coming from a race that is already considered inferior by many and further being coupled with a gender that is often considered inferior across the board by any race, we have a double whammy that we are dealing with. Society makes us think that subamission is the Islamic woman walking behind her husband wearing her burkha, not making eye contact with anyone. Perhaps we need to see more positive and reasonable examples of submission like a group of happy, seemingly normal women who are "submissive" in their relationships. Realizing that I can't change what history and society has creted I do acknowledge that submission is meant to be in love. Overall, I hope that one day, some day, the term sits better with me because I know that in order to have a healthy or successful marriage, some form of submission needs to exist on both behalves.

How does the term submissive sit with you?