God Bless the Child...

Almost at least once a week I hear a woman, be it family, friend, coworker, or foe, speak of the financial need for a man to make some type of status "come up". I often have joked about my fantasy rich Causcasian man named Earl who will one day sweep me off my feet and make me a kept woman. Truth be told, I doubt that I could ever just be a kept woman. I've worked too hard to get to where I am to throw it all away.

From beauty salon to waiting room to family functions to baby showers I've heard women brag of sugar daddies or men who pay for everything and so forth. I can not lie and say that I don't desire a man who is financially stable or even what some may describe as "well off", but I'm a firm believer in the old saying and song lyric, "God bless the child that's got his own." An individual adult should be able to achieve the basic necessities of life without a financial supporter. Those things include a house, car, food, clothes, cell phones, etc. While it's nice to have someone cater to your every desire, isn't it nice if they do it even if you don't "need" them to? It's nice to be able to say that you were capable or had already achieved success to some measure by your own personal merit. Perhaps it's just me who feels this way. I don't think it's cool or attractive for a woman to never own a thing or accomplish a thing until they meet a man. Kuddos to you for getting the "good man" but what would you have been without him? Where would you be if he leaves now? These are all viable questions to me.

I'm just really tired of hearing the women who have never worked, never fought for anything or just move about lazily brag about the man they've found and what all he does. Besides physical pleasure what are you possibly providing for this man who has it all then? I believe relationships are partnerships. While one person may bring one thing to the table hopefully the other is bringing something to the table as well. Too many women are depending on a man to take them shopping, buy them a nice handbag, buy them a car, put gas in their car, purchase their first home, etc and they never stop and set goals for how they plan to get these things for themselves. I suppose it's nice to have things handed to you, but when you achieve on your own, no one has the right to ever throw back in your face what they did for you. 

Also, I really despise when people assume that anything you have that is nice or expensive is from a male. Is that how most people get nice things? I've even had a guy I previously dated ask me about a watch on my wrist being from a guy... As if I can't afford a Michael Kors watch myself or as if my family doesn't give nice gifts. Perhaps it was a jealous, petty nature that had taken over. How I got the watch or anything I own should be irrelevant in conversation for people who make themselves irrelevant in your life. I don't brag about gifts I've received so you will always have to wonder where I got something from or just assume that I bought it all. Success and self pampering in the form of gifts can be achieved without the help of a significant other. I'm a living witness of that. 

By no means will I decline a gift I'd like to accept from a man and by no means am I saying it's wrong to accept gifts since I have yet to decline more than a handful of offerings, but no gift constitutes bragging. Boasting of someone's personal assets comes across as you being in it for the wrong reasons. Set goals for yourself and work on ways to achieve them. Every goal you have in life for yourself should not evolve around the merit of another person. Not only is it selfish but it denounces the "independent woman" title that you so proudly like to wear on your chest. There are exceptions to this rule I'm sure but I may need a new post to really dive into that.

But who am I?...

Billy Holiday- "God Bless the Child"

Them that's got shall have
Them that's not shall lose
So the Bible said and it still is news
Mama may have, Papa may have
But God bless the child that's got his own
That's got his own

Yes, the strong gets more
While the weak ones fade
Empty pockets don't ever make the grade
Mama may have, Papa may have
But God bless the child that's got his own
That's got his own

[Repeat: x2]
Money, you've got lots of friends
Crowding round the door
When you're gone, spending ends
They don't come no more
Rich relations give
Crust of bread and such
You can help yourself
But don't take too much
Mama may have, Papa may have
But God bless the child that's got his own
That's got his own

Mama may have, Papa may have
But God bless the child that's got his own
That's got his own
He just worry 'bout nothin'
Cause he's got his own
Yes he's got his own

Songwriters: BILLIE HOLIDAY, ARTHUR HERZOG JR.

God Bless The Child lyrics © CARLIN AMERICA INC