#TeamSingle

Who wants to be apart of #TeamSingle when everyone else is #TeamTaken? Right? I ran across this letter on one of my favorite sites, Madame Noire. It's called An Open Letter to My Single Sistas: Being Single is Not a Curse, It’s A Gift by Liz Lampkin. I found it a good read, and I hope my single readers find it is nourishing. 

Dear Single Sistahs,

I am writing this letter to my Single Sistas who desperately desire a relationship, to those whose biological clocks are ticking, to those who are at the end of a relationship, to those who feel as though they will always be a bridesmaid and never a bride, to those who are currently playing the dating game, on a hiatus from it or have simply retired from it, to those who are moving out and moving on, to those who fear being alone, to those who are settling for less, to those who are divorced and refuse to open their hearts, and finally to those who have lost a love, and feel as though they can never love again.

I write this letter to each and every one of my Single Sistas to encourage and lift your hearts, minds and spirits to let you know that being single is not a curse; but it is a celebration of a season often short-lived and over looked by seeking out a relationship. As I write this letter to all of you I want to let you know that this time of singleness that you have is a gift that should not be taken lightly. Your season of singleness has a distinct purpose, and it is not to seek a relationship with the immediate hopes of marriage, but it is to build a profound, individual and distinct relationship with your Creator and yourself. This is the time in your life where you can discover who you are, why you were created, and what you should be doing at this particular time in your life.

Being single is a valuable journey in life we often take for granted because we have often been led to believe that if we are not in a promising relationship, engaged or married by a certain age then something must be mentally, physically or emotionally wrong with us and our value as an individual seems to decrease.

However, what many people fail to realize is that being single is a part of life that should be celebrated and honored as much as marriage. This stage in life should be celebrated as much as marriage because this is the time of life where the knowledge of who you are as an individual grows daily. This is the time where you find out who you truly are and stand firm on that knowledge so when the time comes for a relationship you will remain who you are and not morph into who someone else wants you to be.

I know it gets hard sometimes when we see couples holding hands, walking, and out on dates; and I know it is particularly hard when a friend or family member gets engaged and asks you to play a part in their wedding festivities! I also know it’s hard when we see a woman who is not half the woman we (you) are with not only a fine man, but a good one! Hell, it’s even hard to see Facebook and Twitter posts about someone recently engaged to be married! I know all of these things are difficult because as I write this letter to all of my Single Sistas, I am writing it to myself as well.

I know what you struggle with on a day-to-day basis. But I am also aware of the liberating feeling in knowing that my singleness is a gift and that it won’t last forever, so I better celebrate it while I can. And even if it does last forever, I am grateful for the journey and I know it is for a reason. I also know that it is better to be a single woman not in a relationship, than to be a woman in a relationship and still be single and alone; because the fact is, there are a lot of women who are married or in promising relationships who feel more alone than many single women.

Now don’t get me wrong, marriage and relationships are blessed and beautiful when they are sent from above and serve the right purpose. But relationships should not be forced on anyone because of fear of being alone, and we shouldn’t feel as though we must be in a relationship to be happy.

So I say to all of my Single Sistas, celebrate your singleness, and stand tall in it like a fresh pair of stilettos. This is the time in your life where you can celebrate you for who you were created to be, stand firm on it, and relish in it. Stay encouraged, look at what’s in front of you and not who’s around you. Focus on finding your purpose as a single woman. It is only then you will find true happiness.

Sincerely Yours,

Your Single Sistah Liz