mar·riage a (1) : the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2) : the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage <same-sex marriage> b : the mutual relation of married persons : wedlock c : the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage
http://m-w.info/dictionary/marriage
Image:http://www.mydreamwedding.ca/916/african-american-cake-toppers-%E2%80%93-a-celebration-of-heritage/The alter has always had some sort of a magnetic pull on women. Lately all the talk amongst the ladies I'm acquainted with has been about getting married A.S.A.P. Seems like everyone is in this race to the alter. Is it that I'm at the tender age where everyone is getting married? Are people really anxious to be a bride or is it that they are dying to be a wife? I truly doubt it's the latter. Some have expressed how they need to have a kid soon so they need to get married. Others feel as though they are getting old. Some just want to do it because everyone else is doing it. Some want the support of someone else i.e. health insurance and benefits. Others have this dreadful fear of being alone for the rest of their lives yet alone another day or minute. Someone else said they might as well just give it a try and if it doesn't work out then they can just get a divorce. Are these legit reasons? Should I be in a rush too?
I guess I'm just a little different than the rest. I'd love to be a wife one day... but right now there's a peak of independence and self-fulfillment that I just haven't reached yet. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to wake up everyday legally next to the man I love and am equally yoked with. I'd love to have a definite, more permanent date to the latest happenings in town. I'd love to be apart of someone else's family with hopes that they can fill the many gaps I may have in mine. To be in a relationship that's pleasing to God is just amazing to me. Rather than rush things and end up settling for anything due to selfmade deadlines, I'd rather wait until things are right... even if I end up being 30 years old or older. Lol!
I must admit that I'm guilty of setting such deadlines as well. I remember when I was younger I swore that I'd be married by 24 years old and have a child by 26 years old. Well 24 has come and gone and here I am... still not married. As you mature, you realize that such deadlines just aren't realistic. I think everyone clearly understands that life changes when you become an adult or when you have a child, but it seems that everyone forgets that it also changes when you get married. It's no longer about "self" and what "self" wants to do. So it's important to have yourself in order and at some point of completion as an individual before uniting with someone else. Marriage isn't all about the fun and sexual pleasure. Although I hear the more the merrier. :) The reality is that the stresses of life set in and ultimately effect your marriage. Are all the people racing to the alter ready for this? With the present stats of successful marriages vs divorce, I don't think so.
I must admit that I'm guilty of setting such deadlines as well. I remember when I was younger I swore that I'd be married by 24 years old and have a child by 26 years old. Well 24 has come and gone and here I am... still not married. As you mature, you realize that such deadlines just aren't realistic. I think everyone clearly understands that life changes when you become an adult or when you have a child, but it seems that everyone forgets that it also changes when you get married. It's no longer about "self" and what "self" wants to do. So it's important to have yourself in order and at some point of completion as an individual before uniting with someone else. Marriage isn't all about the fun and sexual pleasure. Although I hear the more the merrier. :) The reality is that the stresses of life set in and ultimately effect your marriage. Are all the people racing to the alter ready for this? With the present stats of successful marriages vs divorce, I don't think so.
So the question is, why aren't men equally as anxious to be a husband, yet alone a groom? Is it that they realize the true commitment at hand and are a little bit more honest with themselves and know they won't be able to cope? Why is it that they would rather "shack up" than jump the broom? Perhaps it's because most women are giving them all the rights and privileges of a husband before they become one. So as the elderly people ask, "Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?" Whatever the reason may be, I think the marital statistics of today and the high regard that God places on marriage should be reasons to take a step back for a self evaluation. It's ok to be the last of your friends to get married. It's ok to get married in your thirties and have a child after. You'll probably be more ready mentally, emotionally and financially. 
Great post, Sanica! To answer your question, weddings are generally know to be all about the bride. This is why you dont see men extra excited about there wedding. It's not that men are excited, it's just that the women are overly excited about their day.
ReplyDeleteInteresting but do men become equally excited about taking on the responsibility of a husband? There's a difference between a wedding and actual marriage.
ReplyDelete