A while back I spent a lot of time wondering what makes me feel sexy. I know that may sound crazy for someone who is a very fashion forward person as I like to think of myself or as some people have said a very attractive person shouldn't have these problems. I guess the issue is that society holds a certain standard for what is considered sexy while my upbringing didn't teach me to be sexy... it taught me to be confident in who I am and aware that I'm beautiful. Many people often describe beautiful as something that is from the inside out. So then how do you define sexiness?
Is it the way you dress? Is it the way you walk or talk? Is it intelligence? Is it a state of mind? Do you even have to turn it on? Is it something that your mate can describe to you or that the world can see in the same light?
I recall a few years back (nearly a decade ago so who am I fooling), I went to visit a friend in Tennessee. He, his significant other and I were heading to the club and had on sweaters with jeans since it was freezing, and we had just come from a basketball game. She whined to him asking if he thought she looked sexy and saying that she didn't feel sexy. Though I'm not the person I was nearly a a decade ago, I don't see what was wrong with what we had on especially after I actually saw the venue and considering that this was like 2006 or 2007. I thought my Sean John jean outfit and wedge heeled Tims were on point if I do say so myself. Lol. These days I'd probably change that up with a cute sweater dress or something, and the proof is that about 5 years later we were in Mons, Belgium going to a club after a basketball game. We both wore grey sweater dresses. Lol. Although I may dress differently now I can't say that sexiness for me is defined by mini dresses. I don't like spending most of my night pulling down a dress to ensure that my goods aren't being put on blast. I can say that heels usually make me feel a bit empowered, and a dress of just about any sort is what I deem to be one of the most comfortable pieces of clothing a woman can wear.
In a private realm, is it lingerie, a large tee, nudity, or tiny shorts that make you feel sexy? The truth is that a lot of men could care less about what you have on or wear around the house. While it is true that no man really likes the scarves and moo-moos all day long, it is also true that he may not care if you wore his shirt and drawers around the house. Society almost defines sexiness by how little clothes you have on. Rihanna is always considered sexy because of her sheer paneled dresses and so forth, while India Arie is almost never considered that. If Rihanna is considered sexy dressed like such then I've never been sexy, but I've been India Arie, Jill Scott, Jazmin Sullivan, Tamia, etc before. While I'm no Saint with dress code, I don't think it takes all of this. In the end of the day, sexiness might get you a good night in bed at the most or a free drink/dinner from a guy when out. For most of us, it doesn't pay the bills, and in about 40 years when it's all gone, we will wish we had the simple kind of beauty and brains. So on that note... I'm good with who I am. It for damn sure ain't changing after 32 years. Lol. Be you unapologetically... and be good at it.
Peace and Blessings!
Is it the way you dress? Is it the way you walk or talk? Is it intelligence? Is it a state of mind? Do you even have to turn it on? Is it something that your mate can describe to you or that the world can see in the same light?
I recall a few years back (nearly a decade ago so who am I fooling), I went to visit a friend in Tennessee. He, his significant other and I were heading to the club and had on sweaters with jeans since it was freezing, and we had just come from a basketball game. She whined to him asking if he thought she looked sexy and saying that she didn't feel sexy. Though I'm not the person I was nearly a a decade ago, I don't see what was wrong with what we had on especially after I actually saw the venue and considering that this was like 2006 or 2007. I thought my Sean John jean outfit and wedge heeled Tims were on point if I do say so myself. Lol. These days I'd probably change that up with a cute sweater dress or something, and the proof is that about 5 years later we were in Mons, Belgium going to a club after a basketball game. We both wore grey sweater dresses. Lol. Although I may dress differently now I can't say that sexiness for me is defined by mini dresses. I don't like spending most of my night pulling down a dress to ensure that my goods aren't being put on blast. I can say that heels usually make me feel a bit empowered, and a dress of just about any sort is what I deem to be one of the most comfortable pieces of clothing a woman can wear.
Peace and Blessings!
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