Does having a college education mean that you are smart? Does it mean indefinitely that you are able to hold an intelligent conversation or have intellect?
Commonly I've been told since I was a child that I need to seek a man that has a college education or as someone recently said I should a want a man who is "smart". When asked to define smart, it basically meant someone with a college education and degrees. I've always been one to beg to differ with this standpoint. Yes, I am a woman who holds a college degree as well as a doctorate, but I've never been shallow enough to judge a book by it's cover. I've conversed with and even dated some educationally endowed men but really didn't find too much difference between them and a blue collar worker. Often times I found their work ethic and sense of survival of the fittest to be poor. In other words when the white collar job lays you off, what do your instincts tell you to do? Just apply for jobs online and wait or go to a temp agency to find some type of work while still actively searching for a job in your field. I've had perhaps the most enlightening and intellectual conversations of my life with people who have never stepped a foot into a university or college or who never completed their program. Everyone's story is different. My reasoning for finishing college may not coincide with someone else's life and experiences.
A friend told me recently that most people without a college degree are dumb or not smart. I found this to be a statement of pure ignorance. To make it more personal, my parents don't have college degrees, but I consider them to be smart in many ways. I don't come from a rich family line of doctors, lawyers, preachers and teachers. So when one makes that generalized statement, exactly what do they mean? Just as one may be smart in some ways, we all lack in some areas. I've often found that the educated brother often lacks common sense or street sense. They can sometimes be a bore simply due to lack of experience in select areas or judgmental characteristics. Like most of my generation, I dally with the word swag often. A man that interests me has to be one with swag or a sense of style. He's got to have his own swag that works for him. I don't desire the follower with the skinny jeans like Lil Wayne, the baggy jeans like Jay Z, or even the bow ties and sweaters like Carlton Banks, but a type of swag that allows him to fit in with any crowd... A guy whom I can feel protected by while walking down Bourbon street or through a crowd of men, a guy who can truly enjoy himself at a family or friend's family barbeque, a guy who I can cut the rug with at the local reggae club, a guy who can suit up for a business dinner and be able to hold his own in a room filled with judgmental eyes, a guy who can come to my job to pick me up for lunch and not embarrass me, etc. Aside from being attractive, God fearing, friendly, humorous, treating me right, can take care of me and responsibilities, etc., should the things I just mentioned not matter? Of course I want him to have a decent paying job and if that just so happens to come with a degree then that's great too. Decent pay doesn't always come as a result of a college degree. I don't think what I look for is impossible.
I've dated guys with college degrees and even a doctorate, but I can't say that my conversations were leaps and bounds better than with others. I will say that the best quality about this type of man is that he truly understood that studying meant truly studying without disruption or play. I wouldn't say that he valued education more, but he understood the struggle a little better from a personal perspective. I like someone who can handle an intelligent conversation but also knows how to truly talk about anything under the sun. It's nice to have book sense or smarts but I don't want to talk about politics, education, and science every waking day of my life. It likewise doesn't seem intelligent to have a conversation that floats above your audience's head or use large words that your audience may not understand. The man that does that doesn't attract me.
I've encountered many men especially in recent years who have given me a plethora of reasons of why we would work out or be a power couple, yet all of those reasons involved our resumes and not our character. Certainly more is involved when determining compatibility, right? If I judged a good relationship based on accomplishments then I suppose I should be married and on kid #3 by now.
Be he a blue collared worker or a while collared worker, as long as he meets my criteria for a good man and the man that I believe that God has set aside for me then I don't care. Your educational background may provide a decent job for most people, it may indeed carry you further in some conversations, but I won't say that your education should wholeheartedly define you. No one knows what makes me happy better than me. I'm not going to discriminate against a man because he lacks a degree. I'm more open to whatever God has for me... and that very guy that I'm turning my nose up at could be the one. I am not my degrees and you shouldn't be either.
Commonly I've been told since I was a child that I need to seek a man that has a college education or as someone recently said I should a want a man who is "smart". When asked to define smart, it basically meant someone with a college education and degrees. I've always been one to beg to differ with this standpoint. Yes, I am a woman who holds a college degree as well as a doctorate, but I've never been shallow enough to judge a book by it's cover. I've conversed with and even dated some educationally endowed men but really didn't find too much difference between them and a blue collar worker. Often times I found their work ethic and sense of survival of the fittest to be poor. In other words when the white collar job lays you off, what do your instincts tell you to do? Just apply for jobs online and wait or go to a temp agency to find some type of work while still actively searching for a job in your field. I've had perhaps the most enlightening and intellectual conversations of my life with people who have never stepped a foot into a university or college or who never completed their program. Everyone's story is different. My reasoning for finishing college may not coincide with someone else's life and experiences.
A friend told me recently that most people without a college degree are dumb or not smart. I found this to be a statement of pure ignorance. To make it more personal, my parents don't have college degrees, but I consider them to be smart in many ways. I don't come from a rich family line of doctors, lawyers, preachers and teachers. So when one makes that generalized statement, exactly what do they mean? Just as one may be smart in some ways, we all lack in some areas. I've often found that the educated brother often lacks common sense or street sense. They can sometimes be a bore simply due to lack of experience in select areas or judgmental characteristics. Like most of my generation, I dally with the word swag often. A man that interests me has to be one with swag or a sense of style. He's got to have his own swag that works for him. I don't desire the follower with the skinny jeans like Lil Wayne, the baggy jeans like Jay Z, or even the bow ties and sweaters like Carlton Banks, but a type of swag that allows him to fit in with any crowd... A guy whom I can feel protected by while walking down Bourbon street or through a crowd of men, a guy who can truly enjoy himself at a family or friend's family barbeque, a guy who I can cut the rug with at the local reggae club, a guy who can suit up for a business dinner and be able to hold his own in a room filled with judgmental eyes, a guy who can come to my job to pick me up for lunch and not embarrass me, etc. Aside from being attractive, God fearing, friendly, humorous, treating me right, can take care of me and responsibilities, etc., should the things I just mentioned not matter? Of course I want him to have a decent paying job and if that just so happens to come with a degree then that's great too. Decent pay doesn't always come as a result of a college degree. I don't think what I look for is impossible.
I've dated guys with college degrees and even a doctorate, but I can't say that my conversations were leaps and bounds better than with others. I will say that the best quality about this type of man is that he truly understood that studying meant truly studying without disruption or play. I wouldn't say that he valued education more, but he understood the struggle a little better from a personal perspective. I like someone who can handle an intelligent conversation but also knows how to truly talk about anything under the sun. It's nice to have book sense or smarts but I don't want to talk about politics, education, and science every waking day of my life. It likewise doesn't seem intelligent to have a conversation that floats above your audience's head or use large words that your audience may not understand. The man that does that doesn't attract me.
I've encountered many men especially in recent years who have given me a plethora of reasons of why we would work out or be a power couple, yet all of those reasons involved our resumes and not our character. Certainly more is involved when determining compatibility, right? If I judged a good relationship based on accomplishments then I suppose I should be married and on kid #3 by now.
Be he a blue collared worker or a while collared worker, as long as he meets my criteria for a good man and the man that I believe that God has set aside for me then I don't care. Your educational background may provide a decent job for most people, it may indeed carry you further in some conversations, but I won't say that your education should wholeheartedly define you. No one knows what makes me happy better than me. I'm not going to discriminate against a man because he lacks a degree. I'm more open to whatever God has for me... and that very guy that I'm turning my nose up at could be the one. I am not my degrees and you shouldn't be either.
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