This is a problem that has plagued society for many years now. The most overbearing, over-protective, nosy rosy women to ever walk the face of the planet. Yeah that's right! I'm talking about your man's mama. I've had several conversations this week with women who have had it with the mouths of their "in-law".
How is it that one woman in your life can give you the blues? We've all dealt with one before, and if you haven't then look out, she's probably just around the corner. I used to date a guy who's mom was quite a character. If he called me before her or more than her she threw a fit. She would take out her anger on me when her son was the one she needed to convey that message too since I'm not her child. I clearly looked at her as his mama and another woman who put on her pants one leg at a time just like me. So the amount of respect and tolerance he had for her, I could never have. They weren't very close at the time, but she acted like they were best friends. He was an only child and between mama and grandma, no other woman was getting too close with out getting attitude or back talk. Lol. She didn't have a driver's license, nor was she trying to get one. So any time we came home for him to get ready for us to go somewhere, she needed to be chauffeured around the city to run errands despite the fact that we have reservations in an hour. I wouldn't care much if she was old, but considering that she was in her early 40s, I thought she needed to get it together. Let's not forget the day I unwillingly brought her to Wal-Mart and she disappeared with basket and all for an hour. Then when I did finally find her, she told me that she had been standing there the whole time. She worked every day and had a man, yet always needed large amounts of money as if she had some sort of bad habit. He paid off her house yet she somehow found a way to owe money on it again. I don't know if she did some sort of check into cash, pay day loan, or what was going on. Thank God for delivering me from my past!
I've always had a tendency to date the mama's boy, the only child or the only son. It's not like I asked for only these type of men to apply, I've just only attract this type it seems. Don't get me wrong, there are some mama's boys who have a close relationship with mom, but there is a defined line that has been drawn. Then there are the others whose mamas wanna spend every waking hour with them. Mama wants him to be son and her man. She wants him to run errands on his day off, clean her house, take her out to eat, etc. Oh yes, I'm talking about the rapper Jim Jones' mama! Lol.
Fellas: When mama knows the exact dollar amount in your bank account and tells you how you should spend it, or if she always needs large sums of money yet has money of her own, or if she's always telling you what you should and shouldn't buy your girl, there comes a point when you need to tell her when to back off. It would be in your best interest to do it before your girl does. My friend just told me last night that her boyfriend's mom said that he shouldn't spend a lot of money on her engagement ring or their wedding. What? Excuse me ma'am, but is that any of your business? If he has the money and feel like she's worthy of it, then who are you to say what she doesn't deserve? Did someone tell your husband what you don't deserve or can't have? Maybe that's why your ring looks the way it does and you hide your hand when people discuss theirs. Would you selfishly prefer that he cheats her out of a nice ring, wedding and honeymoon while he continues to pay your endless amounts of bills?
Another friend told me how her husbands mom accuses her of stealing from him and encourages him not to bring his money home or trust her with it. WTH? She further encouraged him to resume a bad habit he tried to kick and the list goes on. How can you possibly be expected to get along with women with such strong and negative characters?
No woman can ever reach all of the expectations of their man's mama. Quite frankly, I'm not trying to. I love my boyfriend's mom, but that doesn't mean that in my relationship with him, she can just do and say whatever she wants. I am one of the few women who opt to have a close relationship with a man's mom. If I know they are close and she's someone special in his life, then I try to get to know her better as well. I often wonder if that's backfired on me in the past. Should we all just be the snooty chick who just says "Hi" and sits on the couch looking like we're ready to go when visiting our man's mama in an effort to not start something that may go sour anyway? Lol. I think that's a miserable way to live.
I further hate it when a man has the audacity to even compare a woman to his mama. If you want a woman like your mama, then maybe you should have her hand pick you one or try incest. I overheard one of my male friends telling his wife that she doesn't do things like his mom and how his mom was able to work, go to school and raise him and his siblings and make sure things were tidy and everyone was fed at home. Well kuddos to her! A good mother is always described as Super Woman in the flesh. Who are you to expect your wife to be the same type of Super Woman as your mama? And why are you adding fuel to your mama's already raging fire?
I would love to see these mothers when they first started out dating or when they first got married. I would love to see how they had to learn from trial and error how to become the women they are today. What's really more important... putting your son's love interest through hell or seeing your son happy and satisfied? Truth be told, our mamas won't be around forever. So when they're gone, a lot of men are going to be some sorry, unhappy brothers regretful for allowing their mamas to run their lives even until death.
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I've always had a tendency to date the mama's boy, the only child or the only son. It's not like I asked for only these type of men to apply, I've just only attract this type it seems. Don't get me wrong, there are some mama's boys who have a close relationship with mom, but there is a defined line that has been drawn. Then there are the others whose mamas wanna spend every waking hour with them. Mama wants him to be son and her man. She wants him to run errands on his day off, clean her house, take her out to eat, etc. Oh yes, I'm talking about the rapper Jim Jones' mama! Lol.
Fellas: When mama knows the exact dollar amount in your bank account and tells you how you should spend it, or if she always needs large sums of money yet has money of her own, or if she's always telling you what you should and shouldn't buy your girl, there comes a point when you need to tell her when to back off. It would be in your best interest to do it before your girl does. My friend just told me last night that her boyfriend's mom said that he shouldn't spend a lot of money on her engagement ring or their wedding. What? Excuse me ma'am, but is that any of your business? If he has the money and feel like she's worthy of it, then who are you to say what she doesn't deserve? Did someone tell your husband what you don't deserve or can't have? Maybe that's why your ring looks the way it does and you hide your hand when people discuss theirs. Would you selfishly prefer that he cheats her out of a nice ring, wedding and honeymoon while he continues to pay your endless amounts of bills?
Another friend told me how her husbands mom accuses her of stealing from him and encourages him not to bring his money home or trust her with it. WTH? She further encouraged him to resume a bad habit he tried to kick and the list goes on. How can you possibly be expected to get along with women with such strong and negative characters?
No woman can ever reach all of the expectations of their man's mama. Quite frankly, I'm not trying to. I love my boyfriend's mom, but that doesn't mean that in my relationship with him, she can just do and say whatever she wants. I am one of the few women who opt to have a close relationship with a man's mom. If I know they are close and she's someone special in his life, then I try to get to know her better as well. I often wonder if that's backfired on me in the past. Should we all just be the snooty chick who just says "Hi" and sits on the couch looking like we're ready to go when visiting our man's mama in an effort to not start something that may go sour anyway? Lol. I think that's a miserable way to live.
I further hate it when a man has the audacity to even compare a woman to his mama. If you want a woman like your mama, then maybe you should have her hand pick you one or try incest. I overheard one of my male friends telling his wife that she doesn't do things like his mom and how his mom was able to work, go to school and raise him and his siblings and make sure things were tidy and everyone was fed at home. Well kuddos to her! A good mother is always described as Super Woman in the flesh. Who are you to expect your wife to be the same type of Super Woman as your mama? And why are you adding fuel to your mama's already raging fire?
I would love to see these mothers when they first started out dating or when they first got married. I would love to see how they had to learn from trial and error how to become the women they are today. What's really more important... putting your son's love interest through hell or seeing your son happy and satisfied? Truth be told, our mamas won't be around forever. So when they're gone, a lot of men are going to be some sorry, unhappy brothers regretful for allowing their mamas to run their lives even until death.
AMEN! this woks both ways too. The girl i just dated her a nosey, messy ass maw. ugh!
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